I often miss you and not in the way I used to. You were my first love, my first sight of what I wanted in my future and so much more. I fell so in love with you so extremely fast and I often wish that wasn’t the case. You were only in my life for a few years, but somehow your presence still lingers here. I wish that you would just go. Take all of your lies, your false promises and your excuses and just leave my life. I’m not good enough and I never was good enough for you. I know you aren’t the man I need in my life to make me a better woman. But sometimes I wish you would’ve stayed just a little longer so I could’ve figured that out on my own. Because sitting here, missing you, wondering why you chose her has made me a person I never wanted to be. In love with someone who never loved me, and unable to let anyone break down the walls I have built to keep the memories of you out. So please, if there ever comes a day you decide you miss me, please just stay the hell away from me. I was never good enough. I was too young, too naive, too in love. Whatever you want to say, just know I would’ve done anything for you and I wake up every day trying to kill off the memory of you.
Thank you for breaking me in a way I didn’t know was possible.
But more importantly, thank you for making me who I am today.
Without you walking out and completely breaking me, I wouldn’t stand as tall as I do.
Thank you. Now get out of my head.
Dear ex lover, I don’t know if I’ll ever get over you. But then, if anyone would ask me if I’m still broken because you shattered my heart into a million pieces, I’d probably say no. I would say no because I know you aren’t a part of my life anymore, you aren’t the one I’d give anything for anymore because it would mean that I’ve got nothing left for myself. Maybe I’m egoistic. Call me an egoist. But I miss the person I used to be. It’s true, before I met you, I didn’t know that I’d be able to smile for no reason. I didn’t know what it was like to feel save, like I’m home. I didn’t know that I could feel homesick and that the homesickness is because of you. But when you left me, all the bad things came back all at once and I can’t describe the feeling in my chest I felt back then. But yes, I’m not broken anymore. You showed me all the beautiful things in life. It’s true, I can’t go to the supermarket you took me in to show me all the things you liked, I can’t go to that restaurant you took me and hell no, I can’t listen to your favorite song because I’d miss the smile you used to have when you listened to it. I still search for you in everyone I meet, I search for your smell in other persons. But it doesn’t mean I’m still broken. I just miss the person I used to be when I was with you. Because you showed me all the beautiful things in life. I know now that there’s so much more to live for, so much to experience and I learned about life that it goes on. You either win or you learn. Thank you for teaching me so many things. Thank you for the time we spent together. Maybe you win because I’m the one who learned, but I’m not broken anymore. I just needed to fall to learn how to get up again.
lately i’ve been replacing my “i’m sorry”s with “thank you”s, like instead of “sorry i’m late” i’ll say “thanks for waiting for me”, or instead of “sorry for being such a mess” i’ll say “thank you for loving me and caring about me unconditionally” and it’s not only shifted the way i think and feel about myself but also improved my relationships with others who now get to receive my gratitude instead of my negativity
